March 2012
Ellen Degeneres for President.
- Doctor: You say you're experiencing constant pain. Where does it hurt?
- Me: Everything
- Me: Everything hurts
- Doctor: Whe-
- Me: My ships are sinking
- Me: All of them
- Me: All of my ships
- Doctor: Oh fuck, you're one of those people
“when one door closes, another one opens”
imagine how annoying it would be if that were true
you close the bathroom door to pee and your front door suddenly blows open
your cat escapes
you run out and jump into the car to chase the cat and hear everything falling out of your over-stuffed pantry as its door unlatches
